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The upside of being single

June 23rd, 2009 at 08:42 am

So uh, I suppose there are more singles here than I previously imagined. Benny was lamenting about being single, and the truth is, I'm right there with him.

But, while there obvious downsides to being single, I thought I'd focus on the upsides of being single today. Because... having been married once, I can tell you there are some definite upsides.

The biggest thing is cost, especially if you are with someone who is spendy. Even worse if you are with someone who is a shallow gold-digger. Need I say more?

Another huge advantage is that you don't have to argue about money. Do I need to put in that bold? Because, that is a really big deal.

The other thing is that all of your money is focused on you. Yeah, maybe that sounds shallow, but then, we are also single. Someday, we may find that special someone that is well-worth every penny, but until then, it sure is nice to be able to spend it mostly on yourself.

I also think that single life is more "productive". Well, maybe this point is arguable, but my financial progress has advanced much, much more quickly since I've been single. Then again, I was also with someone who was spendy. Perhaps this is an issue of finding someone who is on the same financial page as yourself, but being single, the issue is also moot. We get to move as fast as we want, without anyone else to slow us down.

This one may be a guy thing, but guys are... typically reluctant to settle down. Some prefer the um freedom of bachelor life. So, if you're a guy and you're single, maybe that's a good thing.

Speaking of the bachelor life, a friend of mine sometimes use the escort service and go to strip clubs. Now, while I look down on such things and personally avoid them like the plague, we calculated all the money he has ever spent on it... and found out that it was still considerbly cheaper than me getting married! Even if he increased this habit to every weekend, it was still cheaper! By far!

Let me say this again: I don't believe in strip clubs and escort services. Not just in terms of cost, because they're still expensive, but in principle as well. Still, from a numbers point of view, I find it deeply ironic that this friend of mine came out financially "ahead" compared to me when I was married.

Well, that's all I can think of right now. Can you think of any other upsides? Yeah, I know being single sucks sometimes. But... if we must live it, we might as well make the best of it.

16 Responses to “The upside of being single”

  1. go.Xtina Says:

    Does it have to do with money only?

    The best part of being siongle is everything is just me,myself and I now.

  2. toyguy1963 Says:

    Being single definately sucks but being not single seems not to be an option for me.

    I do have one thought of an upside of being single though. I personally am not the most athletic or perfect person in any way, but I love to try out a lot of new or adventurous kinds of things. Like white water rafting, caving ,explring places that are supposed to be haunted, etc. If I were involved with someone I think it would hold me back from doing a lot of these things.
    In a perfect world I would not only find someone but would find someone with the same interests. But EVERYONE that I know in person can't keep up with me or just plain don't want to.
    And the few people that share my interests are the opposit extreme that I can't keep up with. Like running marathons and climbing Mt. Everest. There doesn't seem to be anything in between the 2 extremes. So at least I get to do my little excursions on my own terms.

  3. Broken Arrow Says:

    Tina:
    Nono, it can be anything, and yes, both the upsides and downsides go well beyond money.

    But since we're on a personal finance community, I typically try to keep the topic focused on money. Otherwise, without any restrictions, I can probably end up writing a novella. Big Grin

  4. princessperky Says:

    Being single you can go and do whatever you want,m whenever you want. No other person to check with. Feel like driving up to DC for the weekend, why not.

    Feel like staying home instead, go for it.

    Feel like learning to play an instrument? take all the time in the world, no sig other will be pestering you for time. Feel like playing the radio while you play air guitar? why not.

    Feel like spicy food tonight, no worries that the sig hates it (or all the MSG) No cooking two different meals, or facing brussel sprouts for dinner.

    Feel like going vegan? no spouse to call you a tree hugger. or no 'hippie' calling you out for that juicy steak/leather belt/omelet/whatever.

    Want to learn a sport/dance? No sig to laugh at you at home, or out (who cares what those other folk think you never have to see them again)

  5. Petunia Says:

    "Another huge advantage is that you don't have to argue about money. Do I need to put in that bold? Because, that is a really big deal."

    Yes. . . that would be a huge advantage. Arguments about money seem to be arguments about priorities. . . ideally a compromise would be reached that would satisfy both parties. . . but (my experience) that's rare.

  6. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    The strip club vs. marriage comparison made me laugh out loud. Big Grin Had to read it to my husband.

  7. milehighgal Says:

    Seems like the best part of being single should be not having to convince yourself that you're better off? I'll agree being single is better than being married to the wrong person who makes you miserable, but it doesn't even come close to being married to the love of your life who is also fiscally responsible Smile

  8. Broken Arrow Says:

    Joan, I'm glad you guys laughed at that, because it was meant to be humorous, and I was afraid people might miss the full context.

    In fact, let me add what else he said and I agreed. That strip clubs and escort services are ultimately very hollow experience, not just an expensive one. Because you knew in the end, once your money ran out, they have all left, and you are back alone again.

    That's actually the reason why this friend of mine doesn't frequent those places as often as before.

    While being in a serious relationship might somehow be more expensive, for the right person, I suspect it would be well worth every penny.

  9. Broken Arrow Says:

    Milehighgal: You responded to that just as I was responding to the same as well. Big Grin Perhaps some day, I too can meet that special, fiscally responsible someone.

  10. Counting Pennies Says:

    You know it's so funny because a year ago I was perfect content with being single. In fact, it contributed to me enjoying my last years in college immensely. I could do exactly what I wanted, when I wanted and I could hang out with my friends all the time without any consequences. My first years in college I had a boyfriend that would get mad at me for want to spend time with my friends or roommate. Because heaven forbid I spend any time with someone other than him. lol.

    But that's beside the point. As I was saying I was perfectly happy with being single. Until a couple of months into this year when all my friends decided it would be fun to all get engaged this year. And then they love to ask the question, "when am I'm going to get married?". Like it isn't already hard enough just finding someone to date... I have to also get the added pressure of finding someone to hurry up and marry me because my friends think I should be married.

    I would have to definitely agree with milehighgal though that the best part of being single is not having to convince yourself that you are better off. I was fine before and I'm fine now that I got over my newly engaged friends putting their situation on me. I think it bothers them more than I'm single than it does me. lol, which is fine by me.

    Someday I want to get married and have a family, but until then I'm too busy trying to become the person that I'm meant to be. And that doesn't allow me much time for me to worry about whether or not I'm better off being single or not... that's what's Valentine's Day is for, lol. :P

  11. whitestripe Says:

    i don't know if this is a good comparison or not, but i've been in a relationship for 6 years now (and can't think of anything that was better when i was single - don't throw stones at me until you hear me out!!!)...

    I have to say the best part of our relationship is that we mostly do behave as though we are single (well - except for the most obvious parts of being single) ie we let each other do what we want. i can understand that being in a relationship where everything leans on and relies on the other person can be quite restrictive, and in that case, i can see that being single is a dream. so i can safely say that compared to a lot of friends we have, DF and I have distinctly 'single' behaviour. if i want to go skydiving, i can. if i want to become vegetarian, i can (i did!). if i want to go on a trip to see my folks, i can. if i want to go out with friends, i can. if he wants to play computer games for four hours, he can. if he wants to buy an engine for his car, he can. i'm not going to encroach on someone elses life and enjoyment.

    so in summary, the most important part of being single is freedom. if you can't find that in a relationhip, then of course, singledom is better. because no matter who or how many people you are in a relationship with, you are still YOU, you are still ONE person. you must wait until you find that in another person. because you can't be ONE person when there are two people involved.

    Smile

  12. monkeymama Says:

    LOL also at the strip club example. No kidding. Though that can be rather pricey - why not just get friends with benefits - hehe. (Could that possibly the cheapest option?)

    Though I am sure there are pros and cons to either togetherness or singleness, I can't say I identify with the "I can't do anything I want to do with a spouse" sentiment. We tend to be rather independent, regardless of being married. (Not so obvious these days as we share child-rearing duties, but in the past we really didn't do that much together - probably why we get along so well - hehe). We just value our family, friendships, and independence so much.

    Anyway, being single sure beats being with the WRONG person - no doubt about that!

  13. frugaltexan75 Says:

    Hmm... the best thing about being single .. not having to deal with inlaws or inlaws to be? (though I can't say that I ever had any problems with the parents/families of guys I dated ...)

    Ok, here we go. Freedom to stay up till the early morning hours finishing a really good book you couldn't put down, and not having to worry about bothering someone elses sleep.

    Never having to listen to rap music or techo!!! Can watch as many sappy chick flicks as you want without having to schedule them around your sig other's flicks.

  14. miclason Says:

    using the whoooooooole bed (unless, of course, you have a feline companion like my Tonito, who likes to streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch lengthwise on the bed, preferably leaving the human heater, er, companion in one tiny corner of the bed!)

  15. Single Guy Says:

    Man BA, you sure have the right attitude, though I think I agree most with milehighgal. And yeah, being single is a *whole* lot better than being with the wrong person. The stress levels are nowhere near where they were the last couple years of marriage. Like you, my finances are soooo much better than when I was married, its not funny. And I get comments from relatives how they can see I look and sound so much better than I did years ago. I need to have that "glass is half full" view of life! Thanks BA.

  16. reginaastralis Says:

    I always tell my friends that one of the reasons I remain single ... is that I have the whole closet to myself.

    And what they don't really understand is ... I'm completely serious.

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