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October 31st, 2009 at 10:44 pm

Very negative post. Please ignore if you don't want to hear me whine.

I was hanging out with a buddy of mine, and somehow we ended up talking about Obama's health care. This buddy of mine is convinced that the health care plan is going to fail somehow. I won't get into the details, but suffice to say, he was misinformed about certain things, and despite me clarifying them, he still somehow believes that it's just not going to work.

But that's not the point. The real point here is, in the past, I used to just let things go and say, "Yeah, whatever." For some reason though, I just couldn't do it tonight. I probably ended up wasting a good hour debating this and had no desire to back down.

In fact, lately, I've noticed that I can't seem to just let anything slide anymore. I'm just... really tired of people who are stuck on incorrect opinions based on faulty logic or information. Bonus point if they act high and mighty as though they've got it all figured out, and therefore, I'm the ignorant fool.

When I got back home, I soul-searched a little bit, and it occurred to me that perhaps it's because I've had to take that for so many years from my ex-wife, especially after our separation and divorce, and perhaps it's manifested into a strong pet peeve. Even now, years after the divorce, I am just... so tired of her shit. Pardon me.

And no, I won't take it anymore. It doesn't matter how vicious or holy she wants to act, I'm going to fight her into the ground, and then pound her some more until she learns to talk nice or none at all. I'm sorry to be so tainted like this, but I don't care. Kick a mangy dog enough times, and sooner or later, you have to expect to get bitten.

Now, don't get me wrong though. I'm still OK with people, including my ex, pointing out something that is factually correct or something I didn't know before. I'm fine with being corrected if I really am wrong about something....

Oh, listen to me. I'm polluting both the blogs and my heart. I really am sorry, guys. A part of me does wish that I could be a better man, but... for better or worse, this is honestly how I feel right now.


But other than that, I had a nice night. We went to a restaurant, but I had already eaten, so I only ordered a (non-alcoholic) drink. Then we went to see the movie Zombieland. I paid full theater price, but I enjoyed the movie so it was worth it.

7 Responses to “Intolerance”

  1. baselle Says:

    I honestly think that apathy is far more polluting an emotion than anger. Anger is kind of cleansing and a catharsis.

  2. LuxLiving Says:

    Some events just forge our souls.

    You are a fine man BA, and it shows often by your willingness to contemplate events and examine differing viewpoints. Friends and family may sometimes/way too often get the benefit of the doubt and we just listen & let things slide and then sometimes they get to be surprised when we come out strongly for/against an issue. It would be awesome if we could all la-la-la-laaaaa through life all the time in a cloud of pure peace and joy, but even Christ himself got angry at times. There are some things that deserve our stepping to the plate and letting swing with all we've got.

    Just be careful saying you're going to be doing a beat-down on the ex. Somebody might misconstrue you to mean it literally in the physical sense. Big Grin

    We all need a bit of the savory & bitters with our spices ocassionally. Sweetness isn't the be-all, end-all, you know. Nice to know you're not just one-dimensional, my friend.

  3. Broken Arrow Says:

    Thanks guys.... I really appreciate your willingness to understand because it does not seem to work that way in real life for some reason.

    I tend to use physical metaphors, but I don't have any wish to physically hurt my ex. Quite the contrary, her physical and even emotional well being is vital to the well being of our children, and therefore, it's something that I would go so far as to protect.

    But I also don't want to be the scapegoat anymore and she is the one that is somehow entitled to be the embittered victim who can claim the moral high ground. Nothing is further from truth, because when it's all said and done, she is the one who left me for another man and then blamed me for her actions.

  4. momcents Says:

    I think that you, BA, are a "nice guy" - the kind that is always there to help people out, year in and year out, and then the people that you help don't value you and even pick on you. That is the case with my DH.

    He has listened for years to his mother complain about his father, listen to my biological father complain about my brother/his girlfriend, etc. This emotional availability has backfired profusely - these people feel entitled to intrude into our family life which is sacred. His nice-guyness has given people carte blanch to intrude.

    I've worked hard to encourage him to set up boundaries to protect HIS own emotional well-being. Everyone's emotional problems have worn down his niceness and he is starting to be resentful. I don't want this as a role-model for OUR children who are HIS primary responsibility.

    It is perfectly fine for you to engage in banter and debate about whatever you choose. You are individual with your own set of ideas and thoughts. I see that being nice has probably worn you down, too.

  5. whitestripe Says:

    i have read some of your entries on your ex wife and often wish that you did fight her more than you do. from what i have read, you are quite lenient on her for everything she has done and i think you deserve to stick up for yourself each and every time you feel you're right (and the evidence is there to prove it). same goes for friends or colleagues too.

    in saying that, i have done the opposite. I used to argue about things when i realised someone had the wrong information, until someone atleast checked a written source to confirm i was right (I never argued if I didn't already know I wad right). But lately I just let it slide. If a friend wants to base a decision or judgement on something that is wrong, i let them. They can find out for themselves, i am tired of fighting for now.

  6. mjrube94 Says:

    You're not a "mangy dog". You strike me as a rather upstanding guy!

    Feel free to vent anytime you need to.

  7. Petunia Says:

    BA, I think it might be called "setting boundaries". You just don't take on what's not yours. . . you learn that even though you want to trust certain individuals their behavior proves them untrustworthy. . .you don't do for people what they can and should be doing for themselves. . . you protect your children where you can. . . but not from all the bad behavior of your (ex) spouse. The list goes on. That's been a very hard task in my life, and quite a bit of anger over several years has been a part of it. But I'm more at peace now than I think I've ever been.

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