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Holiday cheers

December 23rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm

The title is sarcastic. I'm about to rant about my ex again, so please feel free to ignore if you don't want to read about negative stuff. I'm also going to try very, very hard to keep it short.

I just had another fight with my ex last night. Basically, our divorce contract states that I get the kids from Dec 23rd to Dec 24th while she basically gets from Dec 25th to Dec 26th.

Over the past years, I've been accommodating and generous by allowing them to have the entire Dec 24th as well because her mother, who doesn't get along with the rest of her family who celebrates on the 25th, have her own Christmas party at her house on the 24th.

The past years haven't been a problem because I had gotten those days off, but this year, I have to work Christmas Eve, which means I was going to pick up the kids after work on the 24th to meet my parents for the holidays, instead of the usual 23rd.

Now, I ask you this. When someone is kind enough to step outside the legalized, contractual agreement-- with no personal gain to be had for said act of generosity-- and now this year, he has no choice but to work, causing a schedule conflict, what would you do?

A) Ask politely to see if the schedule can be worked out somehow? Maybe even thank him for having been so accommodating, and hey, is there something I can do to return the favor?

OR

B) Point out how the father is somehow at fault for changing the dates, even though it's within his legal bounds, as this causes a schedule conflict with her plans? A schedule conflict that he didn't even know she had at the time?

Guess what my ex-wife chose? You guess it. B!

Again, I'm trying to keep this as short as possible, so I won't go into details about a host of other incredible accusations she has made or implied about me. Please. Like anything she says actually holds any credibility.

In any case, I gave her the 24th again, and shifted my schedules to pick the kids up today to meet my parents. I don't mind it because my parents and I are much more flexible than their family's holiday plans (which is true). And to be fair, she did eventually calm down and talk nice.

Of course, it's not the date changes and my accommodating that bothers me. It's the fact that she's playing the victim and I'm the evil bad person again that frustrates me. Geez.

5 Responses to “Holiday cheers”

  1. miclason Says:

    ((hugs)) it's a shame she won't grow up!

  2. monkeymama Says:

    I forgot what we were talking about last night (something about divorce) and dh said something like, "People should be more careful who they marry. They shouldn't marry psychos." Or something along those lines...

    Yup. Unfortunately life doesn't always work out that way! ((HUGS))

    I suppose the bright side is that eventually the kids will be grown, and then you can be rid of her?

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    Yes, it would be nice of her to be accomodating. To switch days, if needed. I would talk to her again about future years, in a week or two. If she can't be flexible then you also should not give up the 24th in future years, because you are not gaining anything for it. The more notice she has the better she can handle any changes, as well.

    Enjoy the time with your kids!

  4. Broken Arrow Says:

    You got me, MM! That thought has certainly crossed my mind before. "BA, how in the world did you end up with a crazy woman like that? Are you really that blind or are you just slow?"

    Sigh. I don't have a good answer... but I've moved on to bigger, better things without her, so that's progress eh? Big Grin

  5. miclason Says:

    Love is blind, sweetie! (or so they say!)

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