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It is what it is

June 3rd, 2009 at 10:47 pm

Sometimes, I get kind of down when I think about all the things that I feel like I should have accomplished by now, or that I should be smarter somehow, or make more money.... I don't feel very smart, or rich, or accomplished....

That's why I have to remind myself sometimes that "It is what it is." Sometimes, I just don't know what else to say other than that. I'm not Superman. I'm just a regular guy.

But then, maybe my mistake here is that I am blogging close to 1:30am in the morning. Big Grin It's hard not to feel small when I am tired and sleepy. I feel like my life can never quite seem to come together, no matter how hard and how much I try.

Um, I guess I am rambling. Big Grin But I am also learning to try to look at things on the bright side. The bright side is that my life really has hit a nice stride right now. Sure, it isn't perfect or without its concerns (especially with this economy), but... as my blog subtitle clearly states, "It Could Be Worse"....

I was in the grocery store earlier today, and there was this really obese man in a wheelchair, who couldn't reach the two bottles of Gatorade off the second to the top shelf. So he had to ask me to get it for him, which I effortlessly walked over and grabbed for him. As he turned around and rolled off, I couldn't help but think, "Wow, I can't imagine living like that. Being so big that it would be a challenge to even get out the house and go shopping, and I would also have to be confined to a wheelchair."

So... my life isn't perfect. But! It is what it is, and it could be worse. Sigh. I'm relieved, and yet.... I don't know. Ever look up at the faint blinking stars on a balmy summer night, wishing your life can get better somehow? Only to wake up the next day, back to the grindstone under the hot glaring sun, wondering if this is going to be all there is to it?

But, maybe that's not a bad thing. I do need to be more financially secure though. Then, maybe I can live my life, like this. With it being what it is right now. The truth is, I haven't been actually "happy", or close to it, until more recently. It seems to be a gradual, incremental thing for me. I think having this new PC helped a lot. You kind of have to understand that, until the past several years, I've always had a PC. I don't have any particular emotional attachments to machines or anything, but to me, it's always been my window to the world. It informs me and entertains me. It cheers me up when I am feeling down, and helps me keep in touch with people who matters to me.

Speaking of PCs, have you guys ever seen that crazy Intel commercial about the co-inventor of USB? If not, click here and see for yourself. I think it's hilarious. Bonus geek points if you can tell me what's "wrong" with the commercial though. (Yes, you can look it up if you want. It's not a test.)

Well, perhaps that's a good, high note to stop my rambling. Big Grin

9 Responses to “It is what it is”

  1. Waterfall Says:

    That isn't him. He is much cooler looking Smile

  2. Broken Arrow Says:

    Excellent! That's right!

    I don't know why they decided not to use the real Ajay Bhatt in the commercial. I think they could have made it work, although the real Ajay is, as you say, "much cooler looking", so perhaps the effect for the commercial would have been a bit stunted because of that. I have to admit it's hilarious in part because the fake Ajay does look so er... homely.

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    I don't think the fake is homely. The real would have been just fine, too, but perhaps he has no acting ability? I like the commercial anyway. Thanks for the link. Love the idea of geeks being causing that kind of reaction. "Cause I love geeks, all types of geeks.

  4. Ima saver Says:

    The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and NOT on our circumstances.
    I choose to be happy!

  5. Broken Arrow Says:

    That really is wonderful, Ima. Perhaps someday, I will be able to choose to be happy. At the very least, I can be a lot less stressed out about money if I can advance further into financial security.

  6. ceejay74 Says:

    I think Ima's right, BA, but that doesn't stop me feeling exactly what you do. I'm busy and content during the day, but at night I have trouble going to sleep because I'm afraid my life is slipping away without my doing something really big and satisfying. I don't yet know if there's something to that, or just one of those things humans start to think as they're getting older. Damn this being aware of our mortality thing; sometimes it really gets in the way of enjoying day-to-day life!

    I recommend watching Columbo episodes on a TV that's timed to go off after you get to sleep. That does it for me; I watch it almost every night. There's something really soothing about knowing that he's got all the answers and will fix everything, and that he's not after fame or acceptance in return. Plus Peter Falk makes me happy and calm. Smile

  7. Phenomenal Woman Says:

    I do not remember the exact saying from Oprah (I do not watch her shows but occasionally see bits of her on TV sometimes)...it was something like... “You can have everything, but not all at once”.

    You have a lot to be fortunate for; being someone who can live simple is a huge dream for many who are suffering.

    I totally get you when you mentioned how the PC is the window to your world. It is like this for me every day because I live in a hearing centered environment (both home and work) and cannot hear what others are saying in a simple conversation. I can only ask "repeat" so many times before it becomes annoying to others. Internet changed my world! Though our circumstances are different, it is pretty much the same in a sense. I am shy and pobably still be shy if I was hearing so becoming hearing would not make a differnece.

    I cannot say the perceived "more successful, advance, rich" people are happier but perhaps they are more “busy" to notice? (Please note: I do strongly strive for financial security for “safeness” and agree with your goals of more savings.
    It took me a long time to find my own inner "contentment" that I hold on to through both rough and good times. But I still run into times where I get myself down from time to time. I chalk it up to being human.

  8. Broken Arrow Says:

    ceejay:
    Woah woah woah hey now. Columbo is awesome. How can anyone sleep through that? Wink Actually, I'm a bigger fan of Monk, but then, that's not really what helps me sleep. But yeah, it's always best to sleep well.

    PW:
    Very thoughtful. Thank you for chiming in.

  9. Apprentice Bliss Hunter Says:

    Colombo is a Legend !! "And just one last question Sir"...hehe

    BA I think everyone goes through phases like you have described. They are temporary (like everything in life - even our lives themselves when you think about it)...

    The way I look at it you don't really appreciate a sunny day at the beach until you've lived in a rain-soaked cold urban environment.... if you know what I mean....

    The "down" periods provide the contrast that makes the "up" periods all the more sweet !!

    Take care !!

    p.s agree totally with IMA...attitude is 85% of the battle.

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