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Punny

June 9th, 2009 at 01:02 pm

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, "Keep off the Grass."
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21 A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

(Courtesy of

Text is Pioneer Woman and Link is http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling/2009/06/creative-puns-compliments-of-ga-ga/
Pioneer Woman)

5 Responses to “Punny”

  1. boomeyers Says:
    1244555209

    Quite amusing, although #5 is really kind of gross! Smile

  2. Petunia Says:
    1244561279

    What happened to #18? Hmm, no 18 in the link either. . . love the pioneer woman.

  3. Broken Arrow Says:
    1244562959

    That's a good question! I have no idea.

  4. princessperky Says:
    1244566217

    Very funny, thanks Smile

  5. frugaltexan75 Says:
    1244681919

    Funny! Although I agree with Boo, #4 is really gross.

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